Things Not to Do at Hogwarts
by MiladyTairiell
Summary: Harry and Draco lose a bet with the Weasley twins and now have to complete a list of dares they created...with the help of Ron, Hermione and some Slytherins. Smut to come.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story takes place after DH in an au where everyone lived but Voldy.

Disclaimer: I don't own any piece of Harry Potter. *cries*

Chapter 1 – The Dare and the Bet

Hermione was very happy she was old enough to do magic outside of school. With her parents' memories restored, they were so relieved she was alive and well that her mother had taken her on a shopping spree, buying her a whole new wardrobe, now packed into her school trunk.

She eyed it as she levitated it. She hadn't been that sure about the clothes her mom had thrown at her, but when Jane Granger pushed her daughter into the dressing room, Hermione had been pleasantly surprised. Jane had a good eye and had seen that her daughter had blossomed into a young woman.

There were jeans that fit snugly to her daughter's curves along with dresses, skirts, leggings, many pairs of shoes, and even underwear. Hermione had nearly died when her mother had thrown the lingerie over the door of the dressing room, but found herself admiring what she saw in the mirror.

Hermione shook her head and focused on her bobbing trunk, making sure to avoid the crowded wizarding train station. She was supposed to meet the boys here at the station since they were all going back to Hogwarts to finish their final year. It had taken some convincing to get Ron to agree, but Harry was eager for a normal year for once.

She craned her head and stood on her toes, but didn't see them. She did glimpse Draco Malfoy, though. They nodded to each other and then looked in the other direction. Relations between them were strained, even though Hermione had been the one he passed information to during the war. They both ignored the tension between them, and had silently agree to pretend it didn't exist.

"Hermione!" She turned when she heard her name called. Two tall boys – _No men,_ she reminded herself, jogged up to her.

"Our trunks are already in our compartment. We were just waiting for you." Harry explained, gesturing with one hand and scratching the back of his head with the other.

She fell into step with them. "Mione, what do you have planned for this year?"

She cast a side glance at the redhead. "Schoolwork. Hogwarts is a school, you know, Ron."

He flushed. "I know that, but I mean this year is going to be boring. With You-Kno-Voldemort gone and Fred and George not in school anymore, nothing exciting will happen."

"He has a point, Hermione." Harry pointed out.

She stopped and stared at him. "I thought normal was what you wanted."

He flushed slightly. "I do, but we're so used to the excitement…aren't you afraid you'll get bored?"

She nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. "I think you just want to cause trouble. What was it Professor McGonagall said?"

They said together, "When something happens, why is it always you three?" They laughed.

Hermione pointed her wand at her trunk and directed it onto the shelf above the seats. It wasn't long until the train pulled away and she watched the station slowly fade into the distance.

Periodically through the ride, friends and strangers stopped by to either chat or ogle the three heroes. After the fourth first year stared at them through the glass, Hermione sighed and pulled out her wand.

"Obscuro." She intoned, pointing her wand at the compartment door. The glass fogged and turned opaque, blocking the vision of anyone trying to look in. She nodded in satisfaction and put her wand back in her robes.

"Brilliant," breathed Ron.

The rest of the ride was uneventful without people staring at them. As they left the train, Hermione tapped on Harry's shoulder. "Was that exciting enough for you?"

He grimaced. "I didn't mean that type of excitement."

Ron rolled his eyes. "We know."

Hermione giggled. "Apparently Harry wasn't told of his own popularity. He wants to be the new trouble student, as if he hasn't caused enough trouble in the past."

Harry frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but Ron beat him to it. "I mean he only helped found Fred and George's shop."

"And helped a convict escape."

"And got into a fistfight with Malfoy."

"And almost got permanent detention with Professor Snape."

Harry crossed his arms. "I'm right here, you know."

They looked at him and grinned. "We know," they chimed together.

He glared playfully and pretended to stomp into the Great Hall. Dinner passed quickly after the sorting. The only point of excitement seemed to be when it was announced that Professor Lupin had returned to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. The three had cheered the loudest when they heard the news and the professor stood up.

On the way back to the common room, Harry vanished. One minute he was there, and then when Hermione turned to ask him something, he was gone. She grabbed Ron's arm and gave him a look.

He scanned the crowd and groaned, "Not again. Last time he went missing at on the first night back, he came back covered in blood."

Right when they started to head back to look for him, Harry came jogging around the corner. "I'm here!"

Hermione eyed him. "And not covered in blood or dirt." She noted.

He smiled proudly. "Nope."

She smiled. "Good." Her gaze then turned dangerous. "Don't. Do. That. Again. Do. You. Have. Any. Idea. How. Worried. I. Was?!" She punctuated each word by smacking his arm with the book she was carrying.

He tried to shield himself with his hands but quickly apologized when he saw her reach for her wand. "Sorry! I'm sorry!" He raised his hands in the air, in surrender. "I was arranging a…meeting tonight. Meet in the common room after changing, okay?"

She finally stopped hitting him and took a breath. "Fine. But I swear, Harry Potter, if you ever run off like that again…" Her hair sparked in warning.

His eyes widened. "Deal." He agreed quickly.

She huffed and gave the password (Skiddlywiffers), striding to her dormitory. Ginny was already there changing, and it looked like they were the only girls who came back in Gryffindor. They nodded to each other and Hermione opened her wardrobe. She'd had to fight her, but Hermione had won the fight against her mother and insisted on some regular pajamas. Her mother still snuck in some negligees and night gowns Hermione still blushed at when she saw them.

She grabbed a short pair of shorts and a light pink tank top. Pulling her hair into a messy bun, she padded back down to the common room. The boys had already changed and were waiting for her.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

Harry smiled sheepishly. "The room of requirement."

She raised an eyebrow. "Lead the way since you know what you want from the room." It was a quiet trip to the corridor. When the door appeared, they walked in and Hermione was impressed. The room looked inviting with cream colored walls, a huge fireplace, and brown sofas in front of the fire. Where Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott were sitting. Her smile faded as her eyes connected with intense grey eyes.

She turned to Harry, breaking eye contact. "Harry, what's going on?"

Harry scratched the back of his head self-consciously. "I, uh, had this idea. You know, because nothing is going to happen this year." She rolled her eyes and sat down on the second couch that faced the three snakes. "I thought we could do something fun."

"Okay, but where do they come in?" Ron asked, nodding his head towards the other three and crossing his arms. He stood behind Hermione, suspiciously eyeing them.

Harry grimaced. "Well actually I…I may have lost a bet with the twins." Hermione groaned. She could only imagine what they would come up with. "They gave me this list of things that have to be done by the end of the year. Draco was there at the time and was included in the bet."

 _Draco?_ When did that happen? Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What bet did you lose?" She deadpanned.

Blue and green eyes exchanged a glance and Harry reddened slightly. "We…uh…bet on what type of underwear you wear." He blurted.

Hermione's eyes widened. The other two Slytherins laughed while Ron was spluttering. She turned to Draco, who was studiously avoiding her gaze. "And you bet too?"

He looked up and suddenly smirked. "And lost. One of the twins snuck into your house, with a witness, and brought back proof." She hid her face in her hands. That explained the look those two gave her when she visited their shop the week before. They had been digging through her underwear drawer!

"And why does that concern the rest of us?" Her words were slightly muffled from behind her hands.

Harry shuffled slightly. "Because Draco and I split the list and made a bet that we could finish our half first with the help of our friends." Everyone held their breath, knowing the temper of the small witch before them.

She sighed. "What happens if we lose?"

She didn't see Harry and Draco exchange a look, but Ron did, and his eyes narrowed. Draco answered, "That hasn't been determined yet."

She glared at the boys, knowing she was outnumbered. "I'm going to regret this, but fine." Harry slumped in relief and the Slytherins exchanged grins. Ron eyed the Draco, knowing the blond was planning something and not liking it one bit.

Hermione held up her hand. "We have to make a few rules first." Everyone groaned, but then quieted when they saw her hand twitch. "First, no one else is to be aware of the lists. Second, no sabotaging each other's-" she was cut off by protests from all the males. She grabbed her wand and silenced them. She cleared her throat and looked at them pointedly. "Second, no sabotaging each other's _lists._ We need to know what our tasks are. Third, there has to be at least one witness for the task to be considered complete. Deal?" She waved her wand and released the spell, allowing them to speak again. They all looked at each, and then nodded.

She held her hand out again. "Now, show me both lists." Harry pulled out two pieces of paper and gingerly handed them to her. Both were titled "Things I Must NOT Do at Hogwarts." One was marked "Draco's Team" and the other "Harry's Team."

Harry cringed as her eyes flashed while she read both lists. She got to the end and shrieked, "HARRY POTTER!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I, again, don't own any of Harry Potter. All credit goes to J.K. Rowling.

Harry gave Hermione a wide berth until she calmed down. Luckily, a good night's sleep was enough to get her thinking about their list. Harry seemed relieved when, at breakfast, she sat down without glaring at him.

"I looked over the list this morning and changed the order of the…tasks." She said distastefully. "The twins may have said the tasks have to be done, but they didn't say in order."

Harry smiled. "That's brilliant! What are we doing first?"

Hermione pointed at the list and Harry paled. "That one?" He squeaked.

She nodded. "Yes, but it doesn't say it has to be done in person," she grinned, "so here's what we're going to do…"

Severus Snape was a naturally suspicious person. Years of being bullied followed by being a spy had hammered it into his character. So when he found a free sample of beauty products, mainly shampoo and conditioner, sitting on his desk he was instantly wary of it. There was a note attached.

 _Because I hate when you visit me and your hair blinds me in its shiny state. Stop slaving over cauldrons so much and wash it, damn it! –Lucius_

Snape sneered but wasn't surprised. Lucius was so obsessed with his own hair that he couldn't stand the way Severus treated his own. The blond had mentioned sending him different shampoos until he found one that brewing wouldn't negate.

Severus opened the bottle and wafted his hand over it, waving the fumes towards his nose. Only idiots would sniff a potion directly. It smelled strongly of a manly musk and he sneered. Still, he _was_ running low on shampoo so he might as well use it.

Hermione gave Luna a slight squeeze and released her. "Thanks for your help, Luna."

"It's no problem, Hermione. The Bandersnatch was last seen under Professor Snape's desk, so I hoped to get a few clues on where he went." The other girl said dreamily.

Hermione shook her head. She had long ago given up arguing with the blond girl about her mythical creatures. The two girls headed back up the stairs, out of the dungeons.

Harry met them outside the great hall and Hermione gave him a thumbs up. He smiled and fell into step on the other side of Hermione. "Shampoo drop a success?"

"Yes, now just to wait to see if he uses it."

Harry chuckled. "I have to hand it to Fred and George, that list is diabolical. They would put it in an addition once we start the list that each job has to be obvious to the rest of the school."

Hermione nodded. "Agreed, but that does make it more interesting." She felt only slightly guilty, lying to all five of them. The twins didn't make that requirement. _She did._ She had secretly agreed with Harry that she had gotten used to the excitement of everything. When she saw the lists, she had seen her chance and grabbed it by both hands. While she was screaming at Harry, she had surreptitiously cast a few spells on the parchment in her hands. Thinking about it, she wondered how their rivals were doing with their own list.

After leaving the meeting that night, Draco looked over the parchment in his hand, trying to figure out what Granger had done to it. He had been amused to see Potter cowering away from the petite witch, but he hadn't failed to notice the spike in magic energy coming from her. He would have thought it was her anger if he hadn't been provoking her for years and knew her reactions. Her magic had been focused on the two pieces of parchment, and he was going to find out why.

He pulled out his wand and tapped the parchment, muttering, "Revelio." Writing came across the thick paper and he smirked. _Smart, Granger, but not smart enough._ He muttered, "Finite incantatum." He smiled in triumph as the parchment glowed for a brief second, but then it turned red. He frowned in confusion, but then dropped the parchment, grabbing his burning hand. He had to give it to the witch, she sure knew her charms. Not only had she cast an anti-cheating spell, but she'd also charmed the parchment with a track spell, a small binding spell requiring all pranks to be obvious, and a little hex he didn't recognize, preventing the spells from being removed.

He growled. _You win this round, Granger._ He smirked, scanning the list and plotting how he would beat the lions. He strode off to get Zabini and Nott.

Hermione's magic flared slightly, having enacted her jinx. She smiled. _So you've already tried to cheat? Nice try, Malfoy._ She went back to eating her lunch when there was a commotion around the doors. She heard faint shouting that she couldn't quite make out at first, until the people drew nearer.

"Headmaster, I'm telling you Potter had something to do with this!" Snape was furious.

"Now, Severus, we don't know that and we can't go around accusing students of…er, mishaps." Dumbledore's calm voice seemed to set off the Potions Master even more.

"MISHAP?!" He shrieked. They walked into the great hall. "Look at my hair! Does this look like a MISHAP?!"

They had moved into the middle of the great hall, seemingly without Snape's notice. It became very obvious what Snape was so upset about. His shoulder-length, _normally_ dank hair looked very different. It was now a huge, curly afro and it flashed red and gold…Gryffindor colors. On top of that, it seemed to be roaring, like a lion.

Students started to laugh until Snape turned his glare on them. Hermione covered her smile with her hand and looked over at the Slytherin table. Grey eyes met hers in amusement and he inclined his head towards her, acknowledging the task as completed.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I can't believe I have to say I don't own Harry Potter. I thought it was obvious.

The three snakes laughed the hardest of everyone after Snape fled the hall. Blaise wiped tears from his eyes. "It roared. It fucking roared." He choked out.

Theo wheezed, "Granger is my new hero."

Draco frowned. "She's doing it out of order," he said, studying his copy of the lions' list. He suddenly smirked. "Come on, we need to get started on our list." He pulled out their own list, making sure to mark off "Give shampoo to Snape" on the Gryffindor's list.

Blaise looked over his shoulder and nodded, pointing to an item on their own list. "We should have Theo do this one. It gets down one of ours and makes this one harder for them." He tapped one of the middle tasks on their opponents' list.

Draco smiled. "And we can do this one at the same time." Theo came over and studied the list, noting the two they had pointed out.

He shook his head. "That one would be easier when you're on prefect patrol. What about this one? I can have Pans help and act as witness at the same time."

Blaise and Draco agreed. "So, both done by dinner?" Blaise asked.

Draco nodded and chuckled. "Dinner tonight will be interesting." _I'm gunning for you, Granger._

Blaise and Draco hid in one of the secret passages as Draco coached Blaise in the song. Blaise paused for a moment. "How do you know this song? Isn't it a muggle song?"

Draco colored slightly. "I asked Granger," he muttered.

Blaise's eyes widened. "You…what?"

Draco ran his hand through his hair. "I want to win this bet and hold it over Potter."

Blaise stared at him. "And how do you know Granger didn't give you the wrong information to win this herself?"

Draco smirked, remembering. "I just know." He listened to the main corridor for a second and heard footsteps. "Are you ready?" Blaise nodded and they walked into the corridor. Like they planned, they split up and leaned against opposite walls, waiting for their target. As the hall got more crowded, they spied the professor in an animated discussion with Potter.

Draco nodded and they both detached from their walls and started walking behind the pair, loudly singing. Both Potter and Lupin froze when they heard the words of the song.

 _Stalked in the forest, too close to hide_

 _I'll be upon you by the moonlight side_

 _Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo_

 _High blood drumming on your skin, it's so tight_

 _You feel my heat, I'm just a moment behind_

 _Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo_

 _In touch with the ground_

 _I'm on the hunt I'm after you_

 _A scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found_

 _And I'm hungry like the wolf_

 _Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme_

 _I howl and I whine, I'm after you_

 _Mouth is alive, all running inside_

 _And I'm hungry like the wolf_

 _Hungry like the wolf_

 _Hungry like the wolf_

 _Hungry like the wolf_

Harry's shoulders shook with laughter while Lupin just patiently took it with a long-suffering look on his face. The boys finished with a flourish and took an exaggerated bow. The now crowded hallway laughed and cheered.

Lupin smiled slightly, shaking his head. "If you're trying to prank me, you'll have to do better than that. James and Sirius did so much worse. Now, back to class, all of you." He waved his hands in a shooing motion and everyone resumed their conversations and movements, some calling out to the Slytherins and waving to them.

Draco turned and spotted Granger in the crowd. She smiled slightly and nodded to him. Amusement and…was that approval in her eyes? She turned and walked into a nearby classroom. He smiled to himself and turned around, jogging with Blaise off the class.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Harry Potter.

A/N: Some lemony lime action in this one. Enjoy!

Theo and Pansy Parkinson leaned against one of the window frames in the corridor, watching the people who passed them. The plan had originally been for them to do the task on their own, but Draco had insisted to be there once the target was determined. _He definitely has a thing for her,_ Theo mused. They didn't really need Pansy there since the corridor would be crowded, but she had overheard them discussing the plan and demanded to be there. Rolling his eyes, Draco had agreed, just to shut her up. Her shrill voice got on his nerves.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts class nearby let out, and they saw the blond rush out ahead of everyone else. He spied them and joined them, eyes glued to the door. They could hear their target.

"Honestly, Ronald, you don't have to wait for me." Annoyance was easy to hear in her voice.

"But, Mione, you ask the questions no one else thinks of. You just don't have to ask them after class!" They had just stepped out of the classroom and irritation wafted from the witch. Draco smirked. _Showtime._

With a grand flourish, he waved his wand and called, "Accio Granger's knickers!" Everyone in the hall started laughing, the red head included. Hermione turned to him and smirked. Nothing zoomed towards him. As everyone started to realize nothing was flying through the air, laughs were cut short and whispers filled the hall.

Ron, who had been about to stampede the snakes in defense of Hermione, looked at her, turning red as he thought about it. "Her-hermione, are you not wearing…" He trailed off, turning bright red.

Ignoring him, Hermione's eyes met Draco's and she winked. _That minx._ "Nice try, Malfoy, but you'll have to do better than that. Accio Pansy's knickers!" Her wand was suddenly out and flicking towards them. Pansy screeched as a pair of lacy polka-dotted knickers flew through the air towards Hermione. She halted their movement and suspended them in air, eyeing them.

"Really, Pansy, we need to work on your taste in knickers," she commented, wrinkling her nose. She transfigured the scrap of fabric into a pair of large underwear, fit for a grandmother, and then charmed them back on the stunned Slytherin witch. Hermione winked. "That's much better."

Draco hadn't moved, eyeing the witch with a mixture of admiration and something else he didn't want to admit. He felt his pants tighten. Pansy was screeching slurs at the petite witch, who yawned and silenced her.

"Really, Pansy, if you can't take a prank, why try to be part of one? It's not like you're not used to your underwear being taken off by someone else." Her eyes twinkled as she nodded to them and strode away, with the redhead still stammering about the nonexistence of her underwear. Draco suddenly felt the need for a cold shower as he thought about…nothing. The nothing that was under Granger's skirt.

"Well, Draco, looks like we need a new target. Imagine Granger not wearing knickers! We always knew it was the quiet ones!"

The blond growled at the thought of someone else fantasizing about the witch. _His witch._ Wait, what? He shook his head. "Pans, shut up. This is why we didn't want you with us."

"But, Drake," he cringed at the hated nickname, "we're supposed to be together!" Her whining made him grind his teeth.

"Pans, you know you're contracted to someone else. Go bother them." She huffed and stomped off, her heels clicking on the stone.

Both boys sighed in relief and grinned to each other. "McGonagall?" Theo asked.

"McGonagall." The blond affirmed. They scampered off to the great hall for dinner.

"Ronald, will you leave the state of my knickers alone?!" She knew she would be regretting her choice, but she didn't think Ron Weasley would be why.

"But…Mione, you're not wearing any! Do you know what people will think about you? Look what they're already saying!" He gestured.

Cormac McLaggen walked past and winked at Hermione. "Nice knickers, Granger!" He called out.

Harry popped out of a nearby passageway and joined the two. "What's this I hear about Hermione's knickers?"

Ron snorted. "You mean their absence?"

Hermione hit his arm with her book and turned to Harry. "Draco tried to use me to complete one of his tasks, but wasn't able to."

Harry chuckled as they entered the great hall. "Way to go, Hermione." They sat and started to eat.

About halfway through their meal, they were treated to some dinner entertainment. Above the normal conversations was heard a bellow, "ACCIO MCGONAGALL'S KNICKERS!"

Laughter erupted as a tearing sound was heard, followed by a pair of green tartan knickers flying through the air. A thundering professor followed her knickers, trying to pinpoint the pranksters. It appeared they had been prepared for this, however, as each time the knickers got close to a group of students, a different voice would summon the knickers, changing their direction.

Finally, the fuming Scottish witch angrily slashed her wand. "Immobulus," she spat. They froze in midair and she grabbed them, stuffing them in her pocket. She looked around, her eyes narrowing when they turned to the smirking Slytherins. She had heard what had happened in the halls earlier, and, even though she couldn't prove it, she knew they did it this time too.

Shifting into her animagus form, the tabby cat padded over to the table and leaped up. She strode right in front of the blond, stared him in the eye, and squatted over his plate, never once breaking eye contact.

He cried out in disgust, but was wise enough not to say anything when the cat purred at him. She blinked and padded away, hopping up on the professor's table. She settled down to finish eating, tail flicking.

Draco stood up and strode away, determined to bathe and get the smell of feces out of his nose. He was surprised by Hermione in the corridor.

"Two in one day? Mighty brave of you to go after Professor McGonagall. Sure you weren't sorted in the wrong house?" She teased.

He raised an eyebrow. "Not wearing knickers to stop me from finishing a task? How Slytherin of you."

She smiled shyly at him. "I never actually admitted to not wearing any. I could have charmed them not to be removed by magic." She looked at him through her eyelashes as he gaped at her. She started walking away, but looked over her shoulder.

"Oh, and Draco? I didn't charm anything."

He gulped and couldn't remove his eyes from her behind that, oh Merlin, she just admitted had no knickers covering it. He whirled around. _Damn, Granger._ He thudded to a stop, realizing the track his thoughts had gone down. _Damn it, Granger, not again._ He rushed to the prefects' bathroom and stripped down quickly, hoping a cold shower would work

He jumped in, shivering. It was working, but his thought just kept turning back to Granger, bare under her skirt, and he sprang back up, fully erect. He groaned in frustration and started stoking his cock, alternating between gentle and rough stokes. He rubbed his thumb around the head and jerked slightly. Closing his eyes, he leaned against the wall. He could just imagine the witch, _his_ witch, on her knees before her, her tongue flat and lapping against the head. Her hand gently cupping his sack as she sucked him in her mouth, flicking her tongue against him. His hand quickened and he trembled as he came in a rush, his white seed spurting out in the shower. He breathed heavily as he watched the water wash it away. _I have to have her._ He realized.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Tomorrow's my birthday, so I'm giving you two chapters today. :D

The next morning dawned bright in the Gryffindor Tower. Hermione was already awake, having spent most of the night trying to get Draco's expression out of her mind. She didn't know what she was thinking when she had told him that, or even when she had decided not to wear knickers. All she knew was that the way his intense eyes had darkened had given her a thrill and made her shiver. She had felt deliciously naughty all day, not wearing knickers, but she had almost run to the Gryffindor Tower in her rush not the drip on the floor. Desire had jolted through her when she had spotted the lust in his eyes, but her arousal had gotten close to running down her leg.

Even now, she couldn't sleep. She had realized something last night. _I want him._ She kept trying to reason with herself why she shouldn't, but for every negative, there was a positive that pushed its way through.

Realizing she wouldn't be able to sleep even if a troll clubbed her, she got up, dressed, and pulled out the list, studying it. They were behind since the snakes had completed two tasks to their one. She smirked and ran up the stairs to the boys' dormitory to wake them up. This task would be better to do now while everyone was sleeping.

Harry and Ron grumbled, but complied when she mentioned the list. They blearily stared at her as she explained, but then Harry rubbed his eyes and grinned.

"Perfect, Hermione." He pulled the list closer and looked over the items. "I think we could also do these today because they're quick and easy."

She eyed the list critically and nodded. "We'll need a lookout for this one," she tapped on the parchment.

Ron nodded sleepily. "Let's get started since we're already awake," he yawned.

Grabbing Harry's invisibility cloak, the boys slipped under it while Hermione cast a disillusionment charm on herself. She shivered as she felt the trickling effect cover her from head to toe, but then led them out of the common room. They snuck into the kitchen, where Hermione cast a quick siphoning spell, and then hurried to the dungeon.

She could hear the boys behind her and she quickly shushed them. This wouldn't work if they woke anyone up. She started waving her wand, muttering under her breath. She smiled as the dungeon corridors slowly filled up. She waited until the substance reached the fifth stair and then stopped the spells, including the siphon spell. She then swished her wand and cast a few charms on the substance. They waited.

Casting cushioning charms, they relaxed on the stone steps. Hermione could hear the boys' steady breathing (and Ron's quiet snores), letting her know they had gone back to sleep. Casting a monitoring spell, she settled down to sleep as well.

She didn't know how much later it was, but she awoke to her wand vibrating and she shook the boys awake. "Wake up," she hissed. "The Slytherins are getting up." She felt one of them jerk under her hand and bump into the other.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, couldn't you be more gentle?"

"No, Ron," she said crossly, "they're coming."

Even though she couldn't see them, she felt their attention sharpen. She held her breath as they heard the portrait hiding the Slytherin common room open.

Girls suddenly shrieked and Draco's voice could be heard echoing off the walls. "What the hell is wrong with y- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" Hermione giggled. She had been kind enough not to flood their common room or dorms, but had flooded the rest of the dungeons.

Snape came around the corner, heading towards the common room entrance, each footstep squelching. He looked down and scowled. His hair was no longer huge, but it was still colored. Hermione could tell he had tried to banish the substance covering the floor by how his hand was shooting some out every time he opened his palm. He had some of the white substance on the crotch of his pants, causing the boys to burst into silent laughter.

She felt Harry's breath on her neck. "Nice job adding that part to the prank if he tried to vanish it!"

She grinned, even though he couldn't see her. "He does look pretty funny trying to be Spiderman, doesn't he? Just wait until he tries to banish it." She breathed back.

Snape kept trying to keep his palm closed, to stop from spraying the white substance even more, but he kept stumbling since the substance was up to his knees.

"Ish marfmallowsh," one of Draco's old goonies mumbled around a full mouth.

They could see the Slytherins slowing wading through the substance and Blaise stared at Crabbe in bewilderment.

"How much of a dumb fuck do you have to be to eat an unknown substance in a wizarding school?" He asked in incredulity.

Hermione barely heard Draco's muttering, "Don't ask."

She silently giggled, but must have made some sound because Draco's eyes instantly flashed towards the stairs. She held her breath. Even invisible, his intense eyes seemed to stare straight at her. He gave a sexy smirk and her cheeks grew warm. He nodded slightly, acknowledging their task.

She reached out blindly, finally feeling the boys and gently pulling them up the stairs. Might as well retreat before Snape got fully free. Once out of earshot, Harry and Ron finally released their held in laughter.

"Marshmallow fluff?" Harry howled. "You flooded the dungeons in marshmallow fluff?"

"Genius!" Ron cackled. Hermione smiled, thinking back on the look Draco gave them. _Was that approval in his eyes?_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

A/N: I'm so excited for this story that I want to upload everything I have written at once..but that wouldn't work out well, would it? I have up to chapter 10 written and I'll be uploading one chapter every few days or so until I'm caught up to where I'm currently writing, then the updates will be more spread out. The response to this story has all been positive and it gets me pumped for the ideas I have later on for it. If there's something you want to see as a prank, review and let me know!

Hermione didn't see any of the Slytherins until after her first class. According to Pavarti, they had been forced to wade through marshmallow crème to leave their dorms that morning and had refused to go anywhere until they bathed.

"Yeah, apparently, they all demanded to use the prefects' bathroom. I heard Snape even let them bathe together!" Pavarti said in History of Magic, finding the gossip delicious.

"No, I heard he separated the boys and girls. But can you imagine, seeing Draco Malfoy in just a towel?" Lavender added, staring off dreamily.

Hermione stared at her. Lavender blushed self-consciously. "What? Just because I'm already taken doesn't mean I'm blind. He's sexy as hell."

Hermione was irritated, but then brightened. "That's it!" She yelled. The whole class started awake and Professor Binns drearily looked at her. She reddened. "Sorry, professor." Binns nodded and started droning again.

Hermione turned around to see a sleepy Harry looking at her, slightly amused. He ran his head through his messy hair. "Whu's that about, Mione?" He mumbled drowsily.

Her eyes sparkled. "I finally picked our next target."

He visibly straightened. "Who?"

She leaned closer and whispered in his ear, causing him to grin. "Perfect."

After class, Hermione grabbed Lavender's arm and pulled her to the side of the hall. "Hermione, what are you doing?" She asked, glancing behind her at Pavarti who was patiently waiting for Lavender.

Hermione smiled. "Well, you've always been bugging me about using glamour charms, so I thought you'd want to be here when I use them."

Lavender looked at her, puzzled. "In the middle of the corridor?"

Hermione smiled mischievously. "Where else am I supposed to use it on someone else?" She asked slyly, glancing her out of the corner of her eyes.

Lavender gaped at her, but then recovered quickly and winked. She was always up for some new gossip. Hermione scanned the halls until her eyes landed on her target. She flicked her wand in his direction and smirked in triumph. Nodding to a wide-eyed Lavender, she sauntered away.

Draco wasn't very happy. First the dickwad named Blaise didn't know what a fucking silencing spell was and he had woken up to some Hufflepuff's screeching. Then, the shower was cold, courtesy of Blaise as well. Apparently, the Hufflepuff had some stamina. And then, he had to shove everyone out of the way in order to even get to the portrait guarding the common room, only to find the corridor flooded. Although he had to suffer the indignity of wading through it just like everyone else, he demanded to be the first to bathe.

As he soaped up, he thought of the naughty witch that had caused the flooded dungeon. He smirked, thinking back on how clever she was, only to get snapped out of his thoughts by Blaise and Theo shoving open the portrait to the prefects' bathroom. Draco rolled his eyes as they stripped to join him.

"Snape getting impatient?" He drawled.

Theo snorted. "Snape is still in the dungeon, trying to clean up the mess. The potions room is still covered."

Blaise chuckled. "Last I saw, everytime he blinked, it was shooting out of his nose."

Draco couldn't help but laugh. "Granger is a piece of work. She makes this bet fun." Theo and Blaise shot each other knowing looks as they finished cleaning up.

They were on their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts when Draco stopped suddenly and shook his head, feeling slightly dazed. Blaise turned to look at him and froze, eyes wide. He started hitting Theo's arm until Theo turned and stared.

Draco no longer looked like…Draco. His hair was black and spiked, eyes lined with black eyeliner and he was dressed in clothes they had never seen. Baggy black pants with a thick chain hanging down, a black t-shirt for some muggle band called Black Veil Brides and black Converses completed the look. The longer they stared, the funnier it got until they started laughing hysterically, having to hold each other up.

Draco looked at them, confused. They saw he had acquired a piercing in his eyebrow, which he raised at them as they kept laughing at him. _Must be a tickling jinx or something,_ he reasoned.

He sighed and pulled out his want. "Finite incantatum." Nothing happened to them, but he noticed that his nails gained black nail polish. Running to the closest bathroom, he looked in the mirror at his new look. He narrowed his eyes and growled, grinding his teeth, "Granger."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: Sorry for the shortness of this one! You'll get anothr chapter soon to make up for it.

Harry met her right outside the Defense classroom, leaning against the wall, gasping for breath. Hermione hurried to him, concerned, until she saw he was laughing.

He could barely whisper, "Emo Draco," before he started laughing again. Hermione chuckled and ducked into the classroom.

Everyone was already seated, whispering to their neighbors. They didn't hide the object of their discussions as they kept glancing at the fuming former blond. Hermione eyed him appraising, noticing he was still sexy. She mentally slapped herself, biting her lip when she saw him staring back at her, none too happy. The heat in his gaze only seemed to affect her more as she reddened slightly.

He suddenly smirked at her and dipped his head gracefully in recognition of the task. He suddenly turned his want on himself and her eyes widened. He cast a simple spell and suddenly had a very familiar scar. She grinned and took Harry's normal seat beside Ron, leaving only 1 spot for him to sit once he came into the room.

Still chuckling slightly, Harry came in and sat beside Draco. The door closed gently before their professor came out of his office. This year, they had Professor Lupin back, now that the curse on the position had been lifted with Voldy's death.

Lupin entered the room and waved his wand, getting a rollcall based off of magical signatures. He nodded in satisfaction and looked up, only to give a double take and laugh in surprise.

Draco grinned. "I'm sorry, Professor, but I can't help but be a fan." Lupin tried to be serious, but every time Harry was called on, Draco would answer and he finally gave up, pairing them to duel for the rest of class.

Right before the class was over, Draco pointed his wand at his neck and cleared his throat. His voice boomed throughout the room. "If anyone is interested in joining the new Harry Potter Fanclub, Crabbe is taking applications. Feel free to spread the word."

Crabbe glared around, daring anyone to come up to him asking about joining the club. Hermione giggled to herself as she gathered her books together while Harry groaned in disbelief.

As they were leaving, Draco brushed by Hermione. "Declaring war on me, Granger?"

She sniffed. "Of course not. This is just payback for my knickers."

He breathed in her ear, "Consider it a war then." She gasped when he ran his tongue down her jawline and chuckled darkly. Then he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

He hadn't meant to give into his desires, but when he breathed in her natural vanilla scent, he just couldn't resist. Her gasp had nearly broken his control and he had all but run out of there. He was glad she had been merciful and given him baggy pants or else he would have had a big problem everyone else would have seen. His cock throbbed with each step he took and he had to focus on tightening and releasing his leg muscles to clear his head and relieve his problem.

Theo and Blaise caught up to him, exchanging looks. "Draco, some third year said he's on the 6th floor."

He paused. "Sure it's him?"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "They were talking about a barmy knight, so I'm saying it's him." He nodded and starting bounding up the stairs, eager for the distraction. Slightly breathless, he approached the painting.

"Who approaches the noble knight of this fine castle?" A voice next to him demanded.

"Sir Cadogan, my name is Draco and I have come to warn you. There is a new group of students, foolishly calling themselves the Knights of Ni, and they're going around saying that you're a coward. They were even bragging that you wouldn't dare challenge them. They're calling you Sir Cadogan, the cowardly knight. I had to tell you so you could defend your honor."

The knight turned red and cried, "Knaves! Vagabonds! Name them, so I may know they that would impugn my honor!"

Draco smirked and leaned closer to the painting. "They are led by one person in specific."

Sir Cadogan brandished his sword as he ran to his pony. "What is the name of my adversary?" Leaning closer, Draco whispered to the painting.

Sir Cadogan looked at him in disbelief. "But he was so valiant and honorable."

Draco shrugged. "I only know what I've heard. But if you're willing to let something this big go…" he trailed off.

Sir Cadogan puffed up and leaped atop his pony. "Never!" He galloped off through the paintings to find his enemy.

Draco smirked and gestured to Blaise and Theo. "Time to watch the show." They took one of the secret passages to where they told Sir Cadogan to be, and waited.

Coming to drop off their books before dinner, the Golden Trio was surprised to hear a voice challenging, "Vagrant! How dare you impugn my honor? I challenge you, in the name of this fine castle and the good people within it!"

Harry sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Please tell me that's not who I think it is."

Hermione looked around him and groaned slightly. "I can't because it is."

She barely heard him whisper, "Fuck," before he turned around. "I'm not doing this today, I'll carry my bloody books." He said.

"Coward! Come back and face me, leader of the Knights of Ni." She froze, along with Harry and they looked at each other before bursting out in laughter.

"The, haha, Knights, hehehe, of Ni?" Ron just looked at them, not understanding the muggle reference.

Sir Cadogan nearly turned purple. "You dare laugh at me!" He spluttered.

Hermione turned to him and told him as gently as she could, "Brave Sir Cadogan, I believe someone is trying to trick you. We are not knights of anything and we would never doubt your honor or chivalry."

The painting knight faltered. "Someone is…how do you young ones say it…taking the piss?"

She nodded sympathetically. "I'm afraid so. No one would dare challenge the brave Sir Cadogan, right boys?" She had to elbow Harry to get him to stop laughing, but they both quickly agreed with her.

"In that case, I do apologize fair lady, and I hope all of you brave squires and ladies enjoy your evening. I must find that knave and give him a stern talking to about honor."

Hermione's eyes twinkled. "I wish you the best of luck." They rushed into the common room and stared at each other.

Harry muttered, "Malfoy."

Hermione nodded. "I agree, but he was fulfilling one of his tasks, so we can't technically retaliate. Technically." The boys grinned at her, knowing she had a plan.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

After a quick whispered conference, the trio rushed down to the great hall for supper. Walking in, they took their seats, Hermione facing the Slytherin table, just as they planned. Draco was already there with Blaise and Theo.

Harry turned around and raised his goblet to them, calling out, "To the Knights of Ni!" Acknowledging the task as completed and causing the nearby muggleborns and halfbloods to laugh at the reference.

Ron looked between the two of them and asked, "What these Knights of Nee?"

Hermione smiled patiently at him. "Knights of Ni. And I'll have to introduce you to Monty Python. It's a movie."

Ron frowned slightly. "Is it one of those muggle moving pictures you mentioned? Like a play?"

Harry agreed. "Yes, and it's hilarious. The Knights of Ni come from it." Ron nodded uncertainly, but then brightened as the table filled up with food magically. Hermione ate quicker than normal, as did Harry, just as they planned.

Glancing around, she nodded to him that she was beginning and she subtly pulled out her wand and started casting spells under the table. Harry got up and made a show of moving over to Hermione's side so he could get her help with 'homework.' They heard an exclamation and looked up at the same time everyone around them did as well.

Chuckling, they were amused to see Draco Malfoy's goblet upside down right over his head and his pumpkin juice staining his hair orange. Hermione whispered to Harry, "Watch this." She swished her wand and his bowl of mashed potatoes suddenly ended up in his face.

She felt slightly guilty when she saw Draco's irate gaze connect with her amused one, until she saw it click what happened. He smirked darkly and whipped his wand out, waving it in a slashing motion. She watched in horror as the plate of bangers and mash levitated and then was swung in her direction. She ducked, pulling Harry down with her, causing the food to land on the student behind her at the Ravenclaw table.

The student whipped around in anger, to see Draco standing up with his wand out and a look of horror on his face. Food flew across the great hall to hit Blaise in the side of the head as he was turning to say something to Theo. Food starting flying across the hall as more and more people got involved in the food fight.

Everyone paused when Dumbledore stood up, waiting to see what would happen to those involved. He calmly picked up a nearby pie and smushed it into McGonagall's face, making the food fight resume. It only ended when everyone ran out of food on the tables and were sliding around in the food on the floor. Hermione secretly started vanishing the mess all over the floor and tables, strong-arming Harry and Ron into helping.

She was startled by a voice beside her. "Into food games, are we, Granger?"

She giggled at the sight he presented as he posed proudly, mashed potatoes hanging off his eyelashes and hair orange from pumpkin juice. "It does make you more appealing," she admitted.

He wrapped one arm around her middle and buried his nose into her neck. "It makes you more appetizing," he growled, sucking a bit of treacle tart off of her neck. She trembled and stumbled when he suddenly released her and helped with the cleaning.

Snape started to enter the hall, but slipped and fell, sliding across the floor. He shrieked, "POTTER! This is your fault! I know you started it!"

Dumbledore calmly stood, sucking the ice cream out of his beard. "Now, Severus, you have no way of knowing that. Everyone was involved with it, so we cannot punish just one person."

The potions master seethed and whirled around, pinning Harry with his gaze. "I know you were involved in this, Potter." He spat. "And I will catch you," he gleefully predicted. He stalked out of the hall, robes billowing out majestically behind him.

Hermione stood, mechanically vanishing the food. She remembered how his mouth made her feel and she felt her belly tingle. _What is he doing to me?_ She asked herself and then froze. _Damn it, I want him._ She realized.


	10. Chapter 10

By mutual agreement, both groups lay low and paused in their tasks, to allow the professors a chance to cool down and not be as suspicious. Hermione avoided Draco, afraid of what his actions revealed about her own desires.

The week before Halloween, Hermione called the boys over to her corner in the common room, pulling out the list. "I think it's time that we started on our list again. They're ahead of us by one, but this is the perfect chance for this one." She pointed to a specific line on the list. Dumbledore had announced a few weeks previous that there would be a Halloween masked ball, to encourage 'interhouse relationships,' and their task would be the perfect lead up to it.

Harry smiled. "That one is perfect and I have so many ideas."

Ron looked between the two. "I get the feeling that most of these are going to be muggle, aren't they?" He asked.

Hermione and Harry glanced at each other and grinned. "Of course! But just wait until you hear what we choose." Ron nodded hesitantly

Monday began their task at dinnertime. Hermione has stayed behind in Defense class to ask Professor Lupin a few questions, causing him to be late and the last person to enter the hall. The lights dimmed and Lupin blinked to find a spotlight centered on him. He found his body started to dance as music played.

 _Can you hear it, the calling of the moon_

 _It is reaching for me now_

 _It's a primal rage building up in me_

 _Cannot stop it to break free_

 _And in its white light there are voices telling me_

 _To kill and eat is my destiny_

 _Just when I thought that I had found my place in life_

 _The full moon fever strikes again_

 _Bloodline deceiver this is my call_

 _I am the blazing full moon_

 _Bloodline deceiver I gaze from above_

 _I bring the madness that makes your blood boil_

The music faded out and Lupin finally stopped fist-pumping as the rock music quieted. He took a deep breath and shook his head, laughing. He bowed to the laughing and applauding students, taking the prank in stride.

Tuesday before lunchtime found Harry sneaking along the corridor near the Transfiguration corridor. It had been voted unanimously that, since he was the fastest, that he was the distraction. He took a deep breath and threw the dungbomb into the office, sprinting down one of the nearby secrete passages, not looking behind him when he heard the Scottish voice yelling in anger. He ran all the way down to the Great Hall, scooting into his seat beside Hermione, breaths heaving.

They eyed the doorway, making sure she didn't come in before anyone else, but the dungbomb kept her busy enough that she was the last to enter the hall for the meal. Again, the lights dimmed and a spotlight centered on Professor McGonagall. Hermione could have sworn she heard the professor mutter, "Fuck," but she must have heard wrong.

 _What's new pussycat whoa_

 _What's new pussycat whoa oh_

 _Pussycat, pussycat, I've got flowers_

 _And lots of hours to spend time with you_

 _So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose_

 _Pussycat, pussycat, I love you yes I do_

 _You and your pussycat nose_

 _What's new pussycat whoa_

 _What's new pussycat whoa oh oh_

Midway through the song, the students could see Professor McGonagall trying to fight the compulsion charm by changing into her animagus form, but that just made everything much funnier to see the tabby swaying in time to the song. As the song faded out, the professor stalked up to the head table, tale slashing back and forth, refusing to turn back into her human form.

Tuesday night saw Professor Flitwick rushing to get into the Great Hall, only to find a spotlight on him. The trio had cast a charm on the stack of books he normally stood on in class, so that whenever he blinked the stack would steadily get taller. It finally got to the point that he couldn't get back down and had to have all three of them levitate him back down. He started fist-pumping and rave dancing as the techno song started playing.

 _They're taking the hobbits to Isengard_

 _They're taking the hobbits to Isengard_

 _They're taking the hobbits to Isengard-gard-gard_

 _What did you say?_

 _The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits to Isengard, to Isengard_

 _The hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits, the hobbits to Isengard, to Isengard_

 _They're taking the hobbits to Isengard, gar-gar-gar-gard._

The song faded out and Flitwick shrugged sheepishly, laughing along with the rest of the hall.

Wednesday lunchtime saw Professor Sinistra as the chosen target. Being the astronomy professor, she was just getting up for the day and traveling from the astronomy tower, making her the last to lunch normally, luckily for the trio. As she was stretching, she found the spotlight on herself and she cringed.

 _Twinkle twinkle, little star_

 _How I wonder what you are_

 _Up above the world so high,_

 _Like a diamond in the sky_

 _Twinkle twinkle, little star_

 _How I wonder what you are_

Although a simple song, Hermione made the professor pantomime singing it as though she were a soulful artist, singing out her pain. Her face contorted with passion as she pretended to belt out the lyrics. As the song ended, Professor Sinistra straightened and strode up to the head table as though nothing had happened.

Dinner that night found Professor Sprout as the target. Ron had 'accidentally' knocked into Neville, who tripped over a pot and fell into the Venomous Tentacula. They were the last two into the Great Hall, Sprout bringing up the rear. Again, the lights dimmed and she started to dance, flapping her arms around, as the music started.

 _Puff, the magic dragon lived by the sea_

 _And frolicked in the autumn mist_

 _in a land called Honnah Lee_

 _Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff_

 _And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff, oh!_

 _Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail_

 _Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail_

 _Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came_

 _Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name, oh!_

The Great Hall roared in laughter as they heard the lyrics and Sprout huffed as the song ended, out of breath. She waved her hand, like a beauty queen, and headed up to the head table.

Thursday lunchtime found Professor Vector as the chosen professor. Mysteriously, he had been locked in his office until everyone was in the Great Hall and then it had suddenly unlocked itself. He hurried to the hall, only to groan as the lights dimmed.

The song chosen didn't really have words that anyone could make out, but it was understood to be some type of chanting by monks. The three had had a difficult time choosing music for him since he was the Ancient Runes professor, until Hermione gave up and randomly chose something humorous. Professor Vector was making strange movements, between crossing himself and raising his hands to the heavens, as though praising someone. The song got louder until it ended with a dramatic flourish of the professor's arms.

Thursday dinnertime promised to be another entertaining meal. All Ron had to tell Professor Trelawny was that if she came down to the Great Hall first then her future looked bleak. She made sure she was last to the meal, only to blink her magnified eyes when the spotlight shone on her.

 _Why is the rum gone?_

 _Why is the rum gone?_

 _The entire royal navy is out_

 _The entire royal navy is out_

 _Yes, the rum is gone,_

 _Why is the rum gone?_

 _Yes, the rum is gone_

 _Why is the rum gone?_

 _The rum is gone_

 _That's not good enough._

She had been fist-pumping and grinding her hips to the techno mix, blinking in a dazed fashion when the song faded out. The entire hall was roaring in laughter as she toddled to the head table, even Professor McGonagall was trying hard not to laugh.

Friday lunchtime showed everyone rushing to the Great Hall to see the entertainment. Hagrid had been detained by the Spotted Dracoliths mysteriously escaping. Ron could _not_ be seen fleeing because of the invisibility cloak. As he stomped into the Great Hall, the lights dimmed and the hall waited in anticipation.

 _I was working in the lab late one night_

 _When my eyes beheld an eerie sight_

 _For my monster from his slab began to rise_

 _And suddenly to my surprise_

 _He did the mash_

 _He did the monster mash_

 _The monster mash_

 _It was a graveyard smash_

 _He did the mash_

 _It caught on in a flash_

 _He did the mash_

 _He did the monster mash_

 _The monster mash_

The song faded out and Hagrid stopped line dancing, grinning as he said, "Tha' was more fun 'n wrestlin' gators!"

Friday night would prove to be just as entertaining as Dumbledore was the last to enter the Great Hall. He smiled serenely as the music started to play and he started to dance hip hop.

 _These tricks that I'll attempt will blow your mind  
Pick a verse, any verse, I'll hypnotize you with every line  
I'll have you time-travellin', have your mind babblin'  
People tryin' to inherit the skill, so they askin' me  
You know I'm no Pinocchio, I've never told a lie  
So call me Mr. Magic Man, I float on Cloud 9_

 _I got the magic in me_  
 _Everybody knows I've got the magic in me_  
 _When I hit the flow, the boys come snappin' at me_  
 _Now everybody wants presto magic_  
 _Magic, magic, magic_  
 _Magic, magic, magic_  
 _Magic, magic, magic_  
 _I got the magic in me_

Dumbledore smiled and bowed, taking the cheers and laughter from the hall in good humor. Snape sneered, but secretly feared what was coming next. Every other professor had been chosen. Everyone, but him.

Halloween morning dawned bright, with Professor Snape avoiding the Great Hall. Dumbledore flooed to his office to have a chat. "Why hello, Severus."

Snape just stared at him. "Were you expecting someone else in my office?" He said waspishly.

The old wizard smiled. "No, my dear boy, but it's nice not to have to chase you down. Lemon drop?" He pulled one out of his pocket and offered it to Snape, who looked at it and then back at the headmaster.

"I think those have addled your mind," he said dismissively.

Dumbledore picked what looked suspiciously like pocket fuzz and popped it in his mouth. "Now, we missed you at breakfast this morning. As a professor, it is a requirement to be present at at least 2 meals a day in the Great Hall."

Snape froze and glared at him. "Since when?!"

Dumbledore chuckled. "I added it into your teaching contract last year, but you were more interested in the addition of sexual education taught to each house by their head."

Snape scowled. "Fine, I will be there, but if I dance to anything, there will be hell to pay."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in that infernal way. "We wouldn't have it any other way. Now, I do believe it's time for my beard grooming. I do hope Fawkes is awake, he always does it the best." The old wizard mumbled to himself as he stepped through the green fire and was gone.

Lunchtime came around and Snape didn't realize it until the Hall was already filled. He tried to sneak in, but Hermione had been waiting for him and the lights dimmed. Snape scowled, waving his wand around, but it only served to add to the song and didn't stop anything. The hall quieted instantly as the Imperial March from Star Wars started to play (the Darth Vader song). Everytime Snape waved his wand to try to stop it, lightsaber noises were added to the music. After about 10 seconds of the music, it suddenly stopped and then changed. Snape found his body tiptoeing and sneaking around, stealing food off of student's plates as the music played.

 _You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch_

 _You really are a heel,_

 _You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,_

 _You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!_

 _You're a monster, Mr. Grinch,_

 _Your heart's an empty hole,_

 _Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,_

 _I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!_

 _You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch,_

 _You have termites in your smile,_

 _You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,_

 _Given a choice between the two of you, I'd take the seasick crocodile!_

Snape tried everything he could think of, but, to his horror, none of it worked and he had to suffer through the whole song snippet. Once it ended, he straightened and pointed his wand at the trio.

"Potter! I know you had something to do with this!" He bellowed. Sparks flickered off the end of the wand in his rage.

Dumbledore stood up, stroking his beard. "Now, Severus, we have no proof of who was doing this to all of us, but it seems to be a harmless Halloween prank."

"Harmless?" Snape shrieked. "HARMLESS?! I WAS INSULTED AND TREATED DISRESPECTFULLY BY A STUDENT!" Seeing he was getting nowhere, he stomped out of the Great Hall, finally allowing the frightened students to laugh. Draco looked up at the Gryffindor table to find Hermione twinkling at him, and then, that minx winked! His jaw dropped as she smirked and looked away, knowing he knew who did the pranks. He found himself admiring her form and shook his head. _Time to get back to our own list._

 **A/N: You all have been great and asking for new chapters, so here it is! I have the next chapter already written and I'm trying to stay a few chapters ahead so I can update often. I love your reviews and am so excited about the response I've had for this story. Please forgive me for the weaker story parts, but I'm trying to tighten it up as the story progresses. Any future pranks you want to see, let me know! Hopefully you enjoy this longer chapter.**

 **Songs used (in order) are Curse of the Werewolf by Timeless Miracle, What's New Pussycat by Tom Jones, They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard Remix, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Puff the Magic Dragon by Peter, Paul and Mary, Why is the Rum Gone Remix, The Monster Mash by Bobby Pickett, Magic by B.O.B., and You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch by Thurl Ravenscroft. I own none of the rights to any of these songs or Harry Potter.**


	11. Chapter 11

Draco put the list on the table after Snape's performance at lunch. "They've started up their list again, so we need to get in gear as well. With the ball being tonight, this is the perfect one to do." He tapped on the list and the two strained to see what he was gesturing to.

Blaise nodded, smirking. "But instead of what is normally done, we should put our own twist and give them something they won't expect."

Theo tapped the table thoughtfully. "What if we use a potion instead?"

Draco glanced between the two of them and then at Hermione. He smirked. "Let's do it. Meet me back here when it's still being setup. As a prefect, I should be able to get us in." Agreeing, they left the table. Draco secretly smirked to himself. _They still don't know who my date is._

Hermione was pulled by Lavender and Ginny into the girls' dormitory when she stood to leave the Great Hall. "Hermione, we need to get ready!"

Hermione cast a temporus spell, checking the time. "But we still have over 4 hours until the ball!" She exclaimed.

"I know, how will we all get ready in time?" Lavender worried.

"But the decorating committee-" Hermione started

"Has boys who are under strict instructions. They'll be fine." Ginny dismissed, pulling out their thick bathrobes. "Now, off to the prefects' bathroom before any other girls rush there."

Hermione found herself pulled and pushed down to the massive bathroom, which was empty, to her relief. She wouldn't put it past the two Gryffindors to physically throw any one else out of the bathroom.

"Where's Pavarti?" She asked, looking around.

"Oh, she's getting ready with Padma. This being their last masked ball together, she wanted to spend it with Padma." Lavender explained as she turned on the taps that filled the tub with rose scented water and bubbles. Hermione felt somewhat self-conscious stripping down in front of the other two, but then shrugged her shoulders and went with it. She sunk into the tub to relax, but then realized it wouldn't happen when Lavender attacked her hair.

"I owled my cousin for her new potion, she's a famous hair witch you know, and she sent it to me. It's supposed to calm even the most stubborn of hair and I thought it would be perfect for you, Hermione." She said as she poured hulking globs of it into her hand and smeared it into Hermione's hair.

She grit her teeth, hesitant to let a new potion in her hair, but really had no choice. "Lavender, this had better not make my hair come out in handfuls. If it does, I'm cursing your nose hair to grow longer than your waist."

Lavender balked at the thought. "I promise this potion is a sure thing."

Ginny laughed. "Threatening already, Hermione? We're not even an hour into preparation!" Hermione huffed but allowed herself to be dragged back to the dormitory, where her hair was slowly dried by Lavender running her wand through each strand. She wondered what Draco was doing, but then mentally slapped herself. _I have a date, I should be focused on him._

At that moment, Draco was still running around with Blaise and Theo, getting everything ready for his team's prank. They had raided Snape's potion stores and had owled Draco's mother who had sent them everything she could get her hands on, in the spirit of a good Slytherin prank.

Thirty minutes before the ball, the three rushed back to their dormitory to get ready. Running through the shower and almost ripping their clothes in their haste, they were ready with just minutes to spare.

"Meet you at the Great Hall!" Draco called behind him as he left the common room to meet his date.

Hermione stepped out of the dormitory and down the stairs to meet her date, only to find all of the boys staring at her, gob smacked. After looking in the mirror, she couldn't blame them. Her normally riotous hair had been calmed into smooth ringlets, half of which Lavender had pinned up and the rest were left to tumble down her back. Her dress she had chosen on purpose, much like her date, to drive Draco crazy. Her dress was floor-length and a deep, almost black, green. It clung to her, gently flaring out around her hips where the silver embroidery started. It shimmered and sparkled, making her breathtaking. To top it off, she had a delicate mask of the same colored green with silver swirls and black lace around the edges.

Her date recovered himself quickly and started bragging about how great he would make her look by standing beside her. She rolled her black-rimmed eyes, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the common room. Her date prattled on about himself and she grit her teeth, wishing she could hex him, not entirely certain she wouldn't by the end of the night.

They paused at the top of the stairs, surveying the already crowded hall, waiting to get into the Great Hall. She spied a flash of bleach blond out of the corner of her eye and she glanced at him to see him staring at her, heat in his eyes. She turned from him quickly, ignoring him. They strode down, Hermione dragging her date over to where Harry and Ron were standing with Ginny and Lavender. Both of them looked fabulous, Ginny wearing a dark blue velvet dress and Lavender wearing a light pink satin ball gown.

Harry pulled Hermione off to the side. "You look beautiful, by the way, but did you seriously come with Cormac? Cormac McLaggen?"

She shrugged self-consciously. "Yes, I figured with both of us older, he deserved a second chance."

Harry stared at her. "You _have_ met him, right? He thinks he's God's gift to the world."

She huffed. "And I am a big girl and can take care of myself. Do you doubt me, Harry Potter?" She raised an eyebrow as he paled.

"No, just letting you know that you can ditch him at any time and not feel guilty."

She laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

Draco couldn't believe how gorgeous she was. Every male in the hall was staring at her, and he wanted to curse them all. _She's mine._ He growled when he saw who she had turned him down to go with, and he could feel his blood boil when she deliberately turned away from him. _How dare she ignore me!_

Blaise interrupted his thoughts by clapping a hand on his back. "You look like you're going to murder McLaggen."

"The thought hasn't even crossed my mind," Draco said innocently, glaring at the imbecile Hermione had chosen as her date.

Theo was unconvinced. "Uh huh. Anyways, it's time. The doors will open any minute now." The words barely left his mouth as the doors opened, revealing the enchanted ballroom. The students stepped through, oohing and ahhing at the changed Great Hall. The normal tables were nowhere in sight, instead with circular tables on one side of the room covered in black linens. Silver and orange fabric was draped across the top of the hall, allowing the stars to twinkle through. Black couches dotted the floor around the dance area and stage, giving alternative seating.

Draco made a beeline to the food table, specifically the punch bowl, and dumped the potions in before anyone noticed. Dumbledore had cast an antispiking charm on the bowl, but it was only targeting alcoholic drinks, luckily not potions. Draco smirked. _Now I just need to get a dance with her after she drinks this._

Dumbledore stood on the stage and held his hands out, commanding attention. "Now that you are all here, I wanted to say a few words. Professor McGonagall wanted me to remind students that only fourth years and up are allowed and any others will not be allowed through the door, as some of your classmates have already found out." He gestured to where Filch was pulling away two third year girls who were pounding on an invisible wall that blocked them out.

"She also wanted me to remind you to act with the utmost decorum. Oddish, hinkle, twilkins!" He ended the speech as the students clapped, well used to his barmy tendencies.

It appeared that they had been able to procure The Hippogriffs, an up and coming new band, to everyone's pleasure. As the music started, few couples were on the dancefloor, preferring to mingle and snack. Theo had to sneak over to the punch bowl and add more potions when it automatically refilled itself. The ball was getting into full swing by the time Draco swigged down some punch and took his date on the dancefloor.

Daphne Greengrass sighed in relief. "About time you did something. I think Tracey was starting to feel sorry for me."

He looked down at her. "Is she looking at you?" A quick glance and a nod told him the truth. He glanced up to see Hermione staring at him. He leaned down to Daphne and whispered, "Let's give them a show." She smiled up at him as he started to twirl her around, bringing her closer to him. He smiled genuinely at her, holding her close to make the farce appear real.

After the song ended, they pulled apart and Daphne kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Draco," she said softly.

He smiled at her, putting her hand in the crook of his arm as they strode off the dancefloor. "I didn't do it just for you," he said, his eyes going to the Gryffindor he really wanted.

Her gaze followed his and she smirked. "I know."

Hermione had been laughing with Ginny and Lavender when she saw Draco lead Daphne on the floor. She couldn't help but feel self-conscious because the pureblood blonde witch was so beautiful. Her silver dress shone under the candlelight as she moved gracefully against Draco. Hermione could see him whispering in her ear and she laughed with him. A new feeling filled her and she wanted to march over to the witch and pull her hair out. Her thoughts stuttered to a stop as she realized, _Am I…jealous?_

Shaking her head, she excused herself and strode off to the table, nearly sloshing the punch over the brim by how forcefully she grabbed the ladle. She gulped down the punch, trying to forget how he looked dancing close to someone else.

She looked up to see him smiling, actually smiling, at Daphne, and red filled her vision. She stomped over to Cormac, grabbed him and pulled him onto the dancefloor. He strutted and bowed with a ridiculous flourish. Rolling her eyes, she took his arm and they started to dance.

His arm kept sliding down her back until his hand was resting on her bum, but she kept moving his arm back up where it belonged. He probably thought he was smooth, but Hermione had to grit her teeth to keep her disgust to herself. The fifth time she moved his arm, he looked down at her.

"You know you want it, Hermione. No one can resist me and I chose you for tonight."

She stared at him. "No, I don't want it."

He pursed his lips, giving her a condescending look. "Come now, Hermione, I know you're being sly. Don't you want me? Why else did you say yes to me?"

She glared at him. "I don't want anything from you. I only said yes to you because I knew it would irritate Dra-" She clamped her mouth shut, unable to believe that she almost told him her secret.

He smirked. "No, you just don't know you want it." He put both hands on her bum and pulled her closer to him, grinding his groin against hers in a lewd manner. She pushed him away and started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her from moving. She tried to shake him off, but he pulled her closer to him. "You will want me." He said through his clenched teeth.

Suddenly a fist came out of nowhere and punched Cormac in the jaw. Hermione whipped her head to see a heaving Draco, eyes like steel, staring down her date in disgust. "She said no, and when a lady says no, you listen, you piece of hippogriff dung. Now get out of here before I turn you into a ghost." Cormac glared but then whitened when he saw Draco's eyes flash. Without even glancing at Hermione, he backed up, fleeing from them.

Hermione turned to Draco. "Why did you do that? I had it under control!"

He frowned at her, looking around them. They were starting to gain attention, so he gently grabbed her arm and ushered her out of the ballroom. She pulled her arm out of his grasp and turned to him, only to find him inches away from her, glaring at her. "You looked like you needed help from that poor excuse of a wizard. I mean, McLaggen, really?"

She glared at him. "I only went with him to make you jealous!" She covered her mouth, eyes wide as he suddenly smirked at her. It finally dawned on her. "You spiked the punch with veritaserum!" She accused.

He shrugged. "Slytherin. Plus it was one of our pranks." He stepped closer to her. "You did it to make me jealous? Why?" He wanted to hear her say it.

"Because you didn't ask me!" She spat.

He pushed her against the wall, crowding her space. "I'm getting really tired of you yelling at me, princess. And I wanted to ask you until I saw you accept McLaggen." He stuck his nose in the crook of her neck and sniffed, inhaling her natural vanilla scent.

She glared up at him. "If you wanted to ask me, then you shouldn't have waited until the last minute! Stupid Slytherins don't have the bollocks to do anything."

He glared back at her. "I don't have the bollocks, huh? Then I wouldn't do this, would I?" Suddenly his lips were on hers and she couldn't think. He was demanding, invading her mouth with his tongue, swiping it against hers and tasting her. She found herself moaning into his mouth as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist, his arm coming around her back to support her against the wall. He pulled away slowly, breath ragged and lowered her back down to the ground, leaning his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes and stepped away from her. She could see something flicker in his eyes before he swiftly turned around and quickly walked away.

Her brain in a haze, it took a minute to realize what happened. She lifted her skirt and tried running after him, but her silver heels made it difficult. "Draco, wait!" She called, but he walked even faster away from her and the ballroom. She sighed and tottered back to the ballroom, not looking her friends in the eyes as they looked at her, concerned. After only a few minutes, she excused herself for the evening and wandered the castle, hoping to find him but seeing no sign of him on her way back to the Gryffindor common room.

Unbeknownst to the two, the ballroom was in pandemonium. Tracey Davis' date was staring helplessly at his date snogging her girlfriend, Daphne, again. Harry was screaming how much Ron's sloppy habits annoyed him while Ginny was screeching at Dean Thomas how he never satisfied her while they were dating. If anyone cared to look, Professor Trelawney was sobbing into one of the couch pillows, wailing about how she didn't have as much talent as her great-grandmother. Snape walked in from monitoring the students on the terrace, took one look around, and walked right back out. Theo and Blaise exchanged a satisfied high five and left to tell Draco about the success of their prank.

 **A/N: How's that for turning up the heat? Again, I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. And all of you who have reviewed are awesome! Thanks so much for the love and favorites!**


	12. Chapter 12

On Monday, Hermione turned around during History of Magic and frowned, huffing. _Honestly, how do they expect to pass their NEWTs if they can't even stay awake?_ Shaking her head, she shook them awake.

Ron startled awake. "Wha' mum? I dun wanna denome the gard'n righ' now." Hermione shook with her silent laughter as Harry blinked blearily at her.

She pulled out the parchment. "So, I think that now is the perfect time to do this prank since Professor Snape is already paranoid about you, Harry."

Harry glanced down at the list and then back at her, realizing they were still in class. He stared at her. "Uh, Hermione…we're still in class?"

She blinked at him. "So?"

"And you're okay missing Binns' lecture?" He said slowly, not understanding.

She shrugged. "It's only the Goblin Riots of 1284. Professor Binns has gone over it 10 times since the beginning of the year. I think it's his favorite and no one else notices."

Harry's eyes widened as he glanced at the ghost. "You're serious?"

She hid her smirk. "He's a ghost, what does he remember if he's already gone over it?"

Harry face palmed. "Anyways, the prank we should pull?" He said, finally naming their 'tasks' for what they were. Hermione showed it to them, watching as they slowly smirked. Draco came to mind as they reminded her of his sexy smirk, but she pushed him out of her mind. He had been going out of his way to avoid her, so she was determined not to let him fill her thoughts. Every time she saw him, he suddenly turned around and walked in the opposite direction. She tried not to think about how much it hurt.

Severus Snape knew Harry Potter was the cause of the recent pranks. He just knew it, but the little brat kept getting away with it because of Old Man Dumbles. _I'll show them all that he is guilty!_ He thought, determined to catch Saint Potter. Everywhere he went, he was on the lookout for something he could pin on Potter. When Peeves dropped water balloons on some unsuspecting third years, Snape came running from the shadows, screeching about Potter putting Peeves up to it. When one of Hagrid's baby gryphons got loose, Snape was sprinting across the courtyard, claiming Potter had let it loose. It was the perfect time for the next prank they were going to cross off their list.

Snape knew something was going to happen when he didn't see any of the trio at all in the halls or common areas that day. He had been going out of his way to monitor the three and anything suspicious going on in the castle. He had barely slept and was exhausted from running everywhere in the castle the past few days. He narrowed his eyes, knowing Potter was up to something and he would be the one to catch him.

He strode down the hall, robes billowing behind him, nearly bumping into Granger. He paused for a second. Granger! By herself? Something suspicious was happening. He cast a disillusion spell on himself and decided to follow her. He got closer when he heard her muttering something.

"The bat has left the coop," she said lowly, holding her hand to her ear. He frowned. Electronics weren't supposed to be able to work at Hogwarts. And she was going…down to the dungeons? His potions room! He rushed past her and missed her smile as she felt the wind of his haste brush by her.

He flew down the stairs, almost crashing into Weasley. He paused for a second, trying to be quiet, but unaware that Ron had felt his breath on his face when he stopped short. Ron held his hand to his ear like he had been told to do and said, "Clear cost on this night, no bats in sight."

Snape frowned. He wasn't stupid and he knew what his students called him behind his back, meaning that whatever was planned had to do with him and his classroom. Potter was already there! He took off again, pausing right outside the room for just a moment.

Whipping out his wand, he burst through the door, "I have you now, Potter!" He bellowed triumphantly, only to find…nothing. No one was in the room. Refusing to believe it, he cried, "Accio Potter's invisibility cloak!" Nothing came to him as he waited. Frustrated, he screamed, "Homenum revelio!" The spell revealed no one was there. He threw his wand on his desk in his anger, snatching it back up as he thundered back up the stairs. He grabbed Weasley by his shirt, propelling him in front of him. He pushed him to the Great Hall, where lunch was already in progress.

"Potter! I know you had something to do with this!"

Harry wiped the smirk off his face and stood up. "Sir?"

Snape pushed Ron towards Harry. "I found him lingering near my classroom. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Harry turned to Ron. "What were you doing down there, mate?"

Ron shrugged. "I was admiring the scenery," he said cheekily.

Snape huffed. "Detention Potter!"

Harry frowned. "For what, sir?"

Snape spluttered. "For…being suspicious! I know you did something!"

"What did I do then, sir?"

Snape sneered as Dumbledore stood up. "Now, Severus, you can't give him detention for nothing."

Snape whirled to face the headmaster. "But he did something!"

The older wizard picked mashed potatoes out of his beard. "And what did he do, my dear boy?"

Snape stuttered, looking around the hall and realizing how crazy he sounded as he saw the blank looks from the students and other professors. He then turned to Harry. "I will get you one day, Potter." He snapped as he stalked back out of the hall.

Draco met Harry's eyes and nodded, avoiding looking at Hermione, who was trying hard not to look at him and failing.

 **A/N: I own nothing to do with Harry Potter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello? Is anyone still there? Sorry for such a long wait for this next chapter! Life has been busy for me with work and overtime being mandated recently. I think I had chapters I had kept posted here, but they only stay for 90 days, so I lost them. Working from scratch again! Thanks to all of you for sticking with me, even after I made you wait so long for a new chapter. I had to hunt down my muse and hold her at gunpoint to squeeze out this part.**

 **Disclaimer: Again, Draco and everyone else do not belong to me. Stop reminding me of my failures in life!**

Draco had been avoiding Hermione for fear of what she would say or do to him. He couldn't believe he had forced himself on her in his anger. He may have been a Slytherin, but he still had standards. When Harry's team had accomplished their tasks, he made sure not to look at her, afraid of her reaction, but he could feel her eyes on him. He turned to Blaise and Theo to see them looking at him, confused. He decided he didn't want to know and shook his head.

"Time for our next task, are you ready?" He asked, avoiding their eyes.

They looked at each other and shrugged. "Of course, tomorrow in Defense, right?"

He nodded. "No skipping class like you did last time, I need you both for this task."

He didn't see Theo roll his eyes. "Yes, yes, we know."

"Good." Against his will, his eyes glanced over to the Gryffindor table to see Hermione staring at him with a look on her face he couldn't decipher. He stood up. "See you back in the common room." He strode out the Great Hall, but then went out to the Quidditch pitch, grabbing his broom from the Slytherin locker room. He needed to clear his head. Kicking off the ground, he smiled, closing his eyes in the warmth of the sun. The wind whistled past him as he lazily flew around the pitch.

His mind was clear in Defense class and he nodded to the other two Slytherins as they separated and sat in different seats, spread out amongst the class. Everyone looked at them curiously, but then turned back to their conversations. Hermione determinedly didn't look at him.

Professor Lupin walked in, flicking his wand to close the door, and then again to take roll call. He started lecturing on nonverbal patronuses, one of the hardest spells to perform. He scanned the classroom and blinked, then frowned. Something was off about the class, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He mentally shrugged and turned around to grab a book, turning back around to blink again. The professor shook his head. Now he _knew_ something was off. Weren't those three students sitting somewhere different before? _No,_ he answered his own question. _Must be my imagination._

Turning to the book in his hand, he focused on flipping the pages to the patronus charm, to read out loud to the class. He heard the sound of a chair scraping, but pushed it in the back of his mind. He glanced back up, and frowned. Something was off and he couldn't figure it out.

Draco smirked as he, Blaise, and Theo kept switching seats with different students, levitating the first few until the class caught on and were willing to help prank the professor. The only three that didn't move were Hermione, Ron, and Harry, knowing it was on the Slytherins' list. Poor Professor Lupin kept rubbing his eyes and blinking hard, thinking he was going crazy until he figured out what was going on near the end of class.

He turned to the class and said sternly, "I know what you are doing and the next person to change their seat loses 10 points to their house."

Nodding reluctantly, Draco signaled to Blaise and Theo to stay put, deciding they had done enough. The final rotation had brought him sitting beside Hermione, and he had panicked, looking for a new seat, but everyone else was already sitting and he had taken the last empty spot. Then Lupin had to go and catch on, right when he was counting on rotating again.

Hermione glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and slipped him a piece of parchment. He hesitantly opened it.

 _We need to talk._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Sorry for the short update. I felt bad for being away so long and giving you something so tiny. Here's a longer piece for you! Again, if you want to see anything in specific let me know!**

 **Disclaimer: Again, I have to keep stating the obvious in which I own nothing of Harry Potter.**

Draco knew he couldn't avoid her anymore, but he wasn't looking forward to the confrontation. He wrote back a response and slid the parchment back towards Hermione. Her brow wrinkled slightly but she nodded, agreeing to what he wrote back. He sighed in relief. Now he had some extra time.

Hermione wasn't thrilled with having to wait, but she mentally shrugged it off. At least he had agreed to talk, even if it wasn't for a few days because of his Quidditch schedule. Harry looked at her, concerned but she waved him off. She had to focus on their prank list since the Slytherins were back to cranking theirs out just as fast as before.

She slipped the list over to Harry, pantomiming cleaning herself to indicate their next prank. His brow crinkled but then smoothed out as he understood and grinned, giving her a thumbs up behind Lupin's back. He pulled Ron off to the side after class and explained their next task, both smirking at just the thought of what they were going to do.

Severus Snape wasn't known as the greasy bat of the dungeons for no reason. His teeth were crooked and yellow and he was pale, so pale his skin had a slight green tint to it, making him look extremely unhealthy. Not to mention his hair. His dark hair was shoulder length and very flat, weighed down by the grease that standing over cauldrons gave it. To be short, it looked like Snape didn't know how to brush his teeth, much less take a bath. Even Lucius Malfoy had taken to trying to send him different soaps and shampoos to improve his personal hygiene.

Hermione felt slightly evil, but the snarky bastard deserved some payback after he had been bullying students for years. Poor Neville still avoided him like the plague because of how terrifying the Potions Master could be.

Ron came up to her, pulling a mop behind him with a scrub brush in his other hand. Harry joined them, holding a brand new bar of soap. Hermione smirked, waving her wand and casting a few spells on the cleaning supplies. They disappeared. A bellow was suddenly heard across the castle grounds.

Seamus grinned. "Wicked prank! I knew Fred and George must've rubbed off on you!"

Hermione rolled her eyes but handed him the list. "I just need you to tap your wand against the parchment as proof you're a witness." She eyed him closely. Seamus was a little too fond of fire, especially after Professor McGonagall's encouragement during the battle. Luckily, the parchment didn't even start to smoke. She smirked, happy that the adjustment she did to their list worked. "Ready to go see the results?" They broke off, each going a different way to "accidentally" run into the aggrieved professor.

Draco's stomach was all in knots, just thinking about the upcoming conversation he dreaded. _Maybe I shouldn't have put it off._ He grimaced. Lost in his thoughts, he jumped when a shout echoed throughout the dungeons. He popped his head out of the portrait guarding the Slytherin Common Room to see his godfather stomping through the corridor, a look of thunder on his face. Or what Draco could see on his face. Eyes wide, he watched the potions professor try to fend off the scrub brush and soap that bobbed next to him.

"Potter, I'll get you for thi-" A gargling sound was heard as the scrub brush found its opportunity in Snape's open mouth. He waved his arms in the air, trying to knock back the brush, but it didn't budge. Snape whipped his wand out and tried nonverbally banishing the brush, but it only made a mop appear and start trying to mop up his greasy hair. He tried to vanish the mop, but it only made a wash rag appear, that started to clean his crevices.

The professor only gave up trying to affect the cleaning by magic after a pair of tweezers had started attacking his nosehairs and a feather duster had started cleaning out his ears. By then, students had started gathering to watch as the news spread through the castle. Some of them dove to the floor as a beater's bat zoomed through the hall, flying into the professor's hands.

It was precisely at this moment that Hermione, following the flying bat, had come upon the sight of their snarky professor trying to beat off cleaning supplies with a beater's bat. The objects were surprisingly agile, moving at just the right moments to be missed by the bat but perfect to start attacking the professor's extremities. The professor's normally greenish complexion was now looking quite red, but whether from the vigorous scrubbing or the embarassment from the laughter of the students, she couldn't tell. She couldn't help but laugh, even as she felt guilty about the prank.

Draco couldn't stop himself from snaking through the crowd to hover by her side as they watched the spectacle. "Nice handiwork, Granger." He murmured, just loud enough for her to hear but too quiet for anyone else to.

She jumped and then whipped around. "Must all Slytherins be so sneaky? I feel like I need to put a bell on you so you can't sneak up on me." She turned back to the professor, now getting his belly button cleaned out by a toothbrush. "And who said it was me?" She asked lightly.

He chuckled darkly. "You mean to tell me Weasley did this? I think not."

She frowned and opened her mouth, but was interrupted before she could say anything. "Ah, Severus. If you wanted a bath, the corridors is not the place to do it." Dumbledore's voice rang out over the laughter of the students, quieting them down.

Hermione had to hide her grin at the scowl aimed towards the headmaster. _If looks could kill..._ she mused to herself.

Snape tried to respond but all that could be heard was gargling and hacking until Dumbledore waved his wand and the cleaning supplies dropped to the floor, no longer full of vigor. Snape was breathing hard, leaning against the wall, hand to his chest. His eyes snapped to the figure beside Dumbledore and they narrowed.

"Potter!" He spat. He strode forward, fingers twitching like they were wrapped around someone's throat. "You little-"

"Now, Severus," Dumbledore interrupted. "Harry has been with me the whole time. We were having a lovely discussion about lemon squares when the Bloody Baron floated into my office and moaned about something scandelous in the dungeons. Minerva has been beating me at our weekly teas for gossip, so I had to come see for myself. While I commend your idea in washing while multitasking, it seems to be quite the distraction. Might I recommend keeping to your quarters next time?" Hermione couldn't see how the man's eyes constantly twinkled, especially in the face of the death glare he was receiving from the professor.

"Oh shit..." She heard Draco mutter softly. She turned back to him, slightly frowning until she turned back to see the professor's face had turned nearly purple in his rage.

"Headmaster, I-I..." Snape spluttered in his anger, unable to even speak clearly. "I know that Potter had something to do with this. His father pulled the same prank on me and Potter had to follow in his footsteps. I'M TELLING YOU THAT POTTER DID THIS!"

Dumbledore smiled gently at the fuming Potions Master. "Unless Harry can be in two places at once, unlikely since I myself haven't figured that out yet but not for lack of trying. Did you know that dear Nicholas and I worked together for a time before the catastrophe with the Sorceror's Stone and we couldn't quite get it. Nearly splinched into multiple versions of ourselves with 3 ar-" McGonagall cleared her throat from behind him as she strode up and he abruptly cut off. "Oh, yes, Harry here could not have possibly done it, my dear boy."

Snape refused to believe it. "That could be someone else using polyjuice potion! It could be one of his little friends, Granger or Weasley, covering for him."

Hermione gathered her Gryffindor courage. "Professor? I'm right here."

Snape turned and sneered at her, whipping his head when he heard Ron's voice easily call out from the edge of the group, "Oi! What's going on here? I'm a prefect and I demand you get out of my-" He suddenly stopped when he saw the shaking form of the potions professor. He slightly edged away from the furious man.

Dumbledore twinkled. "Now, Severus, it's probably just a charm someone was practicing that went awry. No harm done."

Snape couldn't handle it anymore. He exploded. "No harm done? NO HARM DONE?! WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS ASSAULT ON MY PERSON THEN?!"

Dumbledore gently guided the professor back to his office. "Now, now, let's just relax with a nice cup of tea."

Snape balked. "I don't want a cup of tea, I WANT POTTER PUNISHED. HE SHOULD BE EXPELLED." Dumbledore's soothing voice couldn't be heard by the crowd of students as the two adults retreated down the hall.

Draco whistled low. "Better be on your lookout, Potter. Snape's going to be out for blood now." He glanced down at Hermione. "You too, Granger," he said cooly as he distanced himself from her, turning away.

She frowned at his retreating back as he stalked away from her. It had almost seemed like they were back to normal but then...she shook her head to clear it. Turning back to her boys, she smiled. "Lunch?"


End file.
